Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
by Aussiegirl41
Summary: Post Daybreak fic. Life in the cabin is interrupted by a visitor.


**For the prompts: happy anniversary, this time last year, celebration, and diplomacy is the best strategy. Yes! I used to write a lot!**

There'd been no sun in space. Here, the sun shining through the gaps in the walls woke Bill.

With a grunt, he rolled off his bedroll, scratching absentmindedly at his pure white beard.

He wondered what time it was; old habits die hard. No sun meant there was no time in space, but it had been strictly measured and adhered to with all chronometers synchronised with the one on CIC of _Galactica_. Here, he worked with daytime and nighttime.

He pushed up off the floor, stretched slowly and twisted the crick out of his neck.

He froze. Something moved near the front of his cabin, catching his eye.

He had a visitor?

He pinched the bridge of his nose. It could be only one person.

No time meant no traditional calendar in space. Yet, the days, months and years were comfortingly recorded in his log. Here, he marked a piece of wood every sunset with a knife.

But could he be relied upon to have an accurate record of the date?

The person who owned the whining voice thought so.

"What am I doing over here? Godsdammit, I'm on the floor, Bill."

"Yeah. I don't think it will hurt you," he heard himself answering.

"Last year I was in your rack. I was naked and you'd just imagined frakking me when you woke."

"I'm not gonna make the same mistakes over and over with my life," he muttered.

"Thank you, Bill," she snapped. "How gallant." He'd forgotten how good she was at sarcasm. "First you throw me out of your bed, then you insult me. So, what changed? Why do I get relegated to... Oh, it's her..."

She exhaled slowly and tilted her head to study him. He held her gaze, refusing to be embarrassed by anything he'd ever done with Laura.

"You went ahead and fell for her, didn't you? Gods, you were always such a romantic fool."

"Sometimes just a fool," he noted pointedly.

She sniffed irritably and peered over at the bedroll. "So, where is she? I can't imagine she'll be too happy that you've dragged me out again this year. At least you haven't just frakked me. You've left me sit over here on... What are these things?"

She swished her head from side to side, her nose screwing up at her surroundings.

"Animal hides," he replied dryly.

She jumped up and quickly skidded off them, apparently much happier with the cold timber beneath her feet. He decided not to mention the splinters he was trying to avoid with the animal skins.

"Don't worry, she's not here," he tossed over his shoulder as he headed outside to relieve himself.

He took a moment to look around while there.

There were three essentials of survival: food, water and shelter. Obtaining these three essentials had become his life. Fetching water from the river, hunting or fishing for protein, gathering plants to supplement his diet, collecting wood for his fire, repairing his shelter to ensure it was solid enough for the coming rain; it kept him busy. And yet, yesterday, unusually, he hadn't planned out a single task.

He'd known the date all along. He'd expected her to be here.

He sighed, frustrated with himself.

"Where is she then?" Carolanne asked as soon as he came back in through the door of the cabin.

He thought about the cairn on the hill. Was she there? He certainly spoke to her like she was, just like she was listening. He'd searched and searched until he found the best view for her, just like she was looking.

Yet she could never feel him, even though he occasionally placed his hand upon the rocks that protected her body. He had to kill some of the weaker animals for their skins because he didn't have her with him to warm his bed at night. Everything he tasted never tasted as good as her lips...

"Bill!"

He startled. Carolanne was glaring, her hands on her hips.

"What the hell did you drag me here for if you're going to just ignore me."

"I don't know," he muttered, busying himself with making a hot drink.

As he spooned herbs into a mug, he wondered whether he was lying. He did want to know one thing. But could Carolanne be trusted to tell the truth? She had lied to him several times in the past.

"You wanna know something, don't you?" she guessed.

He squared his shoulders before he faced her. "Yeah," he admitted.

"About _her_, I take it."

"Yeah."

She crossed her arms and tapped her toes, impatient. "Well?"

"Well-" He hesitated.

"Come on, Bill. I do have all day, but that is it. Unless you're not planning on shoving me back in the drawer this year."

She swung around the cabin again. "You do still have my photo, don't you?" she asked, her tone panicky as she strode over to the corner of the room he'd allocated for his photographs.

He knew what she'd find: several photographs of him and Laura, a couple of the boys, two of Kara, one of Dee, one of Laura with Billy, and their wedding photo, still there, but relegated to the very back of the group.

She grunted, and picked up one of the photos of Laura.

He waited for her sarcastic comment, but instead, she simply replaced the photo in its original place, and turned back to him with a sigh.

"You want to know if she loved you?"

"No," he said.

She raised an eyebrow. "You're sure about that one?"

He smiled as he thought of Laura and his last few months. "Yep," he replied, confident.

"She worked out the bad boy had a good heart, huh? What then? Spit it out," she ordered.

He took a long drink of his tea before he answered. "I wanna know where you go."

"Where I go?"

"Yeah. When you're not here. The other times..."

"Bill," she scoffed, "really-"

"She believed in an afterlife. Believed that when people die they cross an ocean and were delivered to the shore of another place. She thought she'd be greeted by her loved ones when she arrived at this shore."

Carolanne's eyes narrowed. "And you wanna know if I hang out at this beach for 364 days of the year?"

He sighed, and went back outside to toss out the dregs of his tea. He was being insane. Carolanne was a figment of his imagination. Even if there was a shore, she couldn't tell him whether or not she was there with Zak. She couldn't tell him whether or not Laura was there - waiting.

"This sounds almost religious, Bill."

He jumped. She'd followed him outside. For some reason, he'd thought she'd be confined to the cabin.

"I could almost believe-" he started.

"Almost? You either believe or you don't, Bill. There isn't any middle ground. I can't tell you whether there's a shore or not. That's for you to decide; for you to believe."

He frowned back at his first wife. "When did you suddenly get so profound?"

"I'm not. But I'm not me. I'm you. Or your subconscious or something." She laughed, managing to make the sound extremely humourless.

He looked out at his view, noticing one of the carrion birds drifting in slow circles. Something was dead in the next valley. He should go and investigate.

"Bill!" Carolanne called. She was back inside the cabin again.

He walked back inside too and found her sitting on the floor, holding a photograph.

He stepped closer. It was one of her and Lee.

"He's doing okay?" she asked, running her finger across the image of her eldest son's cheek.

"I'm not sure. He went away. I like to believe he is."

She turned a sad smile in his direction. "See. You do believe."

He let out a slow, shattering sigh of relief. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"It's only a month away, isn't it?"

He nodded.

"You think he might come back for it?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"What about her? You think she'll consider it your anniversary?"

He decided to avoid her question. Instead, he began to gather up the tools and weapons he'd need to take to go out to the dead animal.

"You think she'll accept the symbolisation of the ring?"

"The settlers in the village are having a celebration to mark our arrival," he said, ignoring her last question. "Whether Lee turns back up for it or not is anyone's guess."

"And whether Laura turns back up?"

He checked his water pouch was full and tied it around his waist.

"Bill?"

She was standing straight in front of him now, another photograph grasped in her hands.

"You don't have one of these with her," she noted.

He gave the wedding photo a cursory glance.

"No," he admitted. "No, I don't."

"You think this is the key? That you can only summon me because of it?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Who would believe that?"

She snorted. "You'll know for sure next month, won't you?" She took in his outfit. "You're not even going to spend the day with me, are you?"

"You could come on safari."

She shuddered and brushed off imaginary flecks of dust from her jeans. "No, thank you."

He grinned. "Maybe I'll see you later in the afternoon."

"Bill?"

He was standing in the doorway, ready to go.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking back over his shoulder.

"You."

He frowned in confusion. "Me what?"

"You would believe that," she replied softly.

He chuckled. "Yeah, I would."

Carolanne watched him striding through the tall grass until he was out of sight. Then, she slowly put the photographs back the way he'd had them. "Good bye, Bill. Time to stop being nostalgic."

She looked around the cabin which he had built for his last love. She decided not to wait for him here. "See you on the shore," she murmured at the young man standing beside her at the wedding as she silently left.

The End


End file.
